Paula is currently working on a novel where she is planning to have a family with young children central to the story line. With 3 young children, Paula has no shortage of one-liners to draw inspiration from. But she would also like to give her readers an opportunity to contribute to her book and is inviting you to submit all the funny or emotive one-liners that get you laughing or crying. The best entries will be added to this site and the best ones will find their way onto the pages of the novel, with a credit to the genius child who delivered the line at the start of the book. So, go ahead, make your child famous and share with us all the things that your kids say.

When you're doing a two-finger salute - is it with Peter Pointer and Tommy thumb - or is Ruby Ring in it somewhere?

Ruth aged 5, Dungannon

If the bread you eat at communion is a symbol of God - does that mean God is made out of bread?

Thomas aged 5, Bristol

From a child who's parents had recently separated. 'Do the houses with 2 snowmen outside them belong to families where both the mummy and Daddy live together? Is that why we've only got one?'

Sarah aged 6, Dublin

That red brick wall is the colour of a brick-red crayon.

Samantha aged 7, Sheffield

Are those stars? Wow. And is that Mars? Wow. And that's called The Plough? Amazing. Where's my blue bikini?

Yana aged 4, Jordanstown

Do you know when my brother laughs, he sounds like a dog throwing up.

Niamh aged 8, Portaferry

So the four seasons are spring, summer, autumn and winter. Okay. What's salt and pepper then?

Clare aged 5, Carlisle

Is it because mushrooms grow in damp places that they look like umbrellas?

Sophie aged 6, Belfast

We learnt loads of mad stuff in Sunday school today - that bloke Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

Jake aged 8, Hastings

Did you know that William tell shot an arrow through an apple, while standing on his son's head?

Kyle aged 8, Newtownards

To submit your one-liners or to contact Paula Clamp:

paula.clamp@virgin.net